HAPPY HALLOWEEN (Cavalier Eternal)

...And no. This post has nothing to do with Against Me! It's just Jocelyn trying to be clever, sorry for getting your hopes up.
So I got a car. It's a 1992 Chevrollet Cavalier. It's green, a 5 speed standard, and has no park break. I love the piece of shit and I've only had it for two days. It's my baby. It cost me $1200, and I owe Audrey $1000 for it.
In other news, I got my tongue pierced. It's old news for anyone reading this, but meh I have to write about something and my life just isn't that exciting.
Gonna be a pirate today. I've got the eyepatch and hat and everything. ^_^
...Not failing math anymore. w00t for a 54%.
Less then a week until the Bad Religion Concert. Our tickets aren't here yet, which makes me quite nervous. I swear to God, if I don't go to that concert, heads are gonna roll (and yeah, I'm talking to you Dave whose never going to see this blog)
Getting my hair dyed on Weds. Blue and black. Not horribly exciting, but meh.
What else is new?
...Gonna move in with Audrey and Tim if they get a house with a basement suite. That would be fucking rad. Keith's still 'not talking to me' and still phoning every night to bitch me out regardless. If he's not going to talk to me, I personally think he should shut the fuck up. But HEY, thats just an idea.
I start closing on Weds. Boo. But Ryan will be there, so it'll be cool I suppose. I'm postponing going to bed. I'm not tired at all. Oh well, maybe I'll write some Hundam and have a smoke. If nothing else it will kill some time.
Night loves, and a happy Samhain to all!

"Why Should I?"

So. This is what it feels like to lose everything.
I don't think I like the empty anymore.

You're the skeleton elephant,
I know you'll never forget.
You've helped me to become
the skeleton pig,
I roll over and over
in my own filth.
I can't control
my own body any longer.
Skaking and shivering
twisting and bleeding
I know I can never rebuild
all that I've destroyed
with my own two cloven hooves.
I'm dizzy, weightless and
weighed down all at the same time,
I might have just died.
My lungs don't inhale together
but my heart beats on and on
to the rythmn of sickness and health.
One too many lies have spilled
from these chapped lips
so many that I believe myself now.
This skin is so cold,
and these insides so warm.
I long to tear them out
only to wrap myself in them
anything to feel heat.
(Pulled out by these hands
crumpled by these fingers.)
The horrid acidic taste is back
so I spew lies to try and bannish it.
It accomplishes nothing,
so I roll over and over inside of it
like the Pig that I am.
For what it's worth I'm sorry,
but you'll never hear it
because this voice is abhorred
to your selevtive ears.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Another thing to wallow in.
Another thing to wallow in.
I'm sorry...

Well, what better time to update this piece of shit the 2:45 in the morning, right?
Yeah, I thought so too.
Yay for being back in Humboldt! I have my job at Family Pizza back, and everything is kinda back to normal. Normal? Well, the way it was before I moved to Moose Jaw.
So I started smoking. Fucking dumb? Maybe, but it seems that one of the things I'm best at lately is self destructive behaviour. Whatever...
I can't see myself keeping it up for long. I don't want Keith to ever know.
My nana went into Saskatoon for her hip replacement surgery, so I'm home by meself for a few days.
I'm failing math. My running average is, what, a 40? Something like that anyway. I'm getting a tutor, Mr. Ed Yee. He's supposedly a genius, which is what I need.
I'm going to Saskatoon with Audrey tomorrow. I don't know what the hell we're going to do there, but thats not really the point. I've been spending more time with her lately, and she's not as bad as I thought she was.
Morgan just left, and I'm going to go to bed right away. She took my AFI hoodie, because it's fucking cold out.
Oh god, I lost whatever respect I had for Megan Reist today. We were in the library during physics class, and our table had a few books on homosexuality spread across it. (yes, HCI library DOES have books on it. Shocking, I know) She comes up and asks us what we're doing with them. We explained that we just wanted to prove that the library actually had books about it. She looks at us, then the books and turns to walk away. She stopps about a step and a half away, then turns back and turns one of the books over so the cover is on the bottom, then leaves. Fucking HOMOPHOBE. It wasn't even really funny.
Okay, so maybe it was, but only a little. In a kind of twisted way...
What else is new... Audrey has a new boyfriend - Tim. He's kind of a gimp, and 50 years old, literally.
Don't really have much more to say. Just... listen to Fiona Apple and... play it safe out there.
Yeah, I got nothing...